Victorian names


(The transcript is provided by me for hard of hearing and deaf readers)

Cartoon Man: Viewers may like to know that all names in the following sketch are genuine Victorian names, Good day.

Teacher: All right, settle down. Mr. Butler isn’t here today so I’ll be taking the register. Now I don’t know any of you so be sure to call out when you hear your name.

Rasberry Lemon, Lettuce burger, Buverale? (I am not sure if I am spelling that right) I am sorry, I think I must have picked up a shopping list.

Male student in brown: No, Miss…those are children’s names. There not answering cause there off sick.

Teacher: Buverale and Rasberry? Honestly, Christian names have gotten weird since Victoria became queen. Well, okay on with the register

Male student in brown: Here, Miss.

Teacher: Sit down, what are you talking about?

Male student in brown: You said Okay on the register. That is me I’m Okay…okay Johnson

Teacher: Well….okay..ah…unless I give permission do never get out of your seat.

Female student in white bonnet: Yes, Miss?

Teacher: Why are you standing up?

Female student in white bonnet: You said never get out of your seat. I’m Never…workwood

Teacher: Has nobody got an ordinary in this classroom? *student raises hand* Yes?

Blonde male student: Toilet.

Teacher: All right, be quick.

Blonde male student: No, that’s my name. I think that is quite a normal name. My sister is called Baboon.

Teacher: Toilet and Baboon? Your parents must be evil.

Blonde male student: No, that’s evil over there. *points to another student

Teacher: Yes

Female student in white bonnet and apron: I got an ordinary name, Miss, it’s Susan

Teacher: Ah, that’s more like it

Female student in white bonnet and apron: Susan Severliver thrower.

Teacher:*sigh* Ah…well let’s try to get through this shall we? I’ll say your names and you’ll say here and I’ll try not to share your names accidently. Happy?

Female student in blue-gray dress: Yes, Miss?

Teacher: Don’t tell me your name is Happy? *girl thumps up* sigh…right. All we go.

Freezer Brezeer? Princess Cheese? Minty Badger? Scary Looker….now I’m sorry….why would anyone call their child Scary Looker? *boys moves his eyes* Forget…I asked

*teacher goes to the chalkboard

Teacher: Now, I am Miss Farting Clack.

Students: Good morning, Miss Farting Clack *giggles

Mouse: Yes, those really were all real Victorian names, Minty Badger and Princess Cheese. It makes what celeberites name their children almost normal. Yeah right….


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