Spirtual experience with my Matron last night

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Warning: Contains mention of suicidal thoughts

Things in my house got pretty rough last night because of a family member, and I was sitting alone in front of my computer and my depression got bad (The incident also made me forget to take my medication for the night) and the thoughts in my head started to gather about how worthless, stupid, pathetic, and ugly I was and about how if I hang myself the world would be better off.

Just when the feelings reached their peak something came over me and their was a feeling inside me that spoke, “There is a fire inside you that can never go out.” and a visualization of a light feeling my chest came over me, and I clicked off the page I was on to show my desktop.

My wallpaper is an image of Hesita with a tiny flame cupped in her hands and I cupped my hands, like in the picture, and visualized a tiny flame in my hands. I started to chant, ‘We all come from the Goddess’ and my emotional state began to get under control.

In a trance I then walked on to my room and saw a small white candle on my desk, I took it and lite it and placed it on my altar and said, “I offer this to Hesita, lady of the Hearth.” Then I brought out all my altar supplies and cast a circle and called the elements.

Then I had this meditation I saw the candle in my chest and then I visaulized the candle I was offering to Hestia inside my chest, then I started to visual it in other people’s chest from my family, friends, strangers on the street, to strangers in other countries, to people of the highest authority, to even animals. I saw candles inside them glowing warmly.

It made me think that no matter how different individual is, we all have the same basic emotional desire to feel a connection with each other. Sadly my mediation was broken early due to someone screaming at me to brind them a rag, but it was wonderful while it last.

That was easily the most spirtual moment of my life.

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5 responses »

    • I am so glad for you too, the light shines the brightest in our darkest hour. That is the moment when she is at her strongest to do miracles. The moon would not look as lovely without the backdrop of the black night

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